Waiting, Waiting, and Pokémon cards...

Waiting ....

It seems like it will be forever and then all of the sudden it's around the corner and reality is setting in. The reality of leaving my life for a while, the people I love, all that is familiar, and looking at my sweet grandsons faces is not easy. I'm not typically an anxious person, but definitely having some situational anxiety.

I tend to be very organized, and there is a lot to do for sure. Getting everything ready, financial things, other paperwork, getting the home ready, and many other decisions to think about that may seem small or silly. Like, handling the canned, freezer and other food that will spoil, some bills you can't pay on line, and clothes! What do you take or leave at home? What can you purchase there?  It's another country and things are different there but I don't even know what that means yet.  Deciding what comforts from home to choose to take. Some of the things are small and seem insignificant, yet when everything is so unfamiliar can be comforting.

More than any of that is processing the emotional part. There are so many unknowns and things I have no control over. I'm a person that likes to have things figured out and well... to be in control of my life and know what is happening. Every Tuesday I go to my daughters and make breakfast for Riley and Graysen, my grandsons. Eggs and pancakes, every Tuesday. It is amazing time with the boys and Natalie appreciates it because she's getting ready for the day. This one Tuesday I was in Rileys room and we were just chatting. He's really into Pokemon cards. Like, REALLY into them.  He's got a book with each card in a protective slip and can tell you about every card, what they are worth, etc.  He took one of his favorites out of his book and said, "Grandma, I want you to have this" (meaning, take it to Hong Kong with me). It was so sweet and the meaning was not lost on me.  Hiding the tears I hugged him and said I would keep it with me while I was gone.

The answers are the same...

Surrender in faith. Surrender to what is. Surrender to all that I know and do not know or cannot control. There is a second part to the serenity prayer and the meaning is this: Help me accept things and people as they ARE, not as I would have them be. We can find a lot of happiness in different things, but it is fleeting and slippery. The deep peace, meaning, and fulfillment comes through an understanding of who we are and the purpose of why we do what we do. When that happens, it supersedes the fear and pain of leaving the familiar.

One thing I know for sure; we rarely understand why our lives go in certain directions, BUT obedience to God's laws and faith in Jesus Christ is the way to joy and will bring us more than what we even think is possible.

Seven weeks to go....

Jennifer